NY PHIL

Well, its Saturday and yesterday was my audition. On Thursday I spent much of the day practicing because I felt that I had a lot more to do to prepare (for such a big list/big audition) that I sort of freaked out about everything and E had to take the cello away from me and send me to bed! :-) I just felt like it was such a big audition that it was totally spooking me and I probably would have stayed up all night primping my excerpts. (Or hid under the bed all day....) My check in time at Avery Fischer was 8am so I tried to be in bed and asleep by 930, but unfortunately I struggled to sleep most of the night. I woke up every 1 to 2 hours or so thinking about how much longer I had to sleep.  

     Friday morning I called a cab and was at the stage door at about 7:40am. Ironically another TMCer walked in right after me (and another one was in my round). Its a small world I guess.  There were 6 of us in the 9am round and we pulled numbers to get our order. I pulled a 4 so that gave me a good amount of time to warm up. After we pulled numbers we were each brought to our own dressing room.   Seven minutes before we were to play (on the stage no less!) we were brought to a "holding room" and shown the excerpts we were going to be playing, along with the order. I had planned to play Dvorak for my solo (and had the prelude of the 2nd suite and gigue of the 3rd suite for bach). I found out I could choose my solo, so I decided to go with the Gigue of the 3rd suite first, becuase I knew it was my strongest excerpt. I have had some problems with my 1st finger cracking/splitting/cutting and my shifts have been a little unsure lately (due to playing with or without a wrapped finger...or due to my having to compensate around the cuts). I hadn't really practiced the Gigue much, but I knew it had been strong for my TMC audition, so I went with it.

     I walked out on stage and saw that there was a really long screen (I"d seen them setting it up on the dressing room  monitors ) and I think there were something like 10 or 15 chairs behind the screen (3 banquet tables worth at least).  There was a long rug leading up to the chair which had been placed at the end of the stage facing the side of the stage where the committee was sitting. I started with the Bach and thought it went really well. The committee asked for an additional solo-spacifically my concerto so I played the Dvorak. The Dvorak was OK, but again a little unsure from time to time due to the finger issues. (I believe)

Next I was asked to play Ein Heldenleben. The 2 excerpts they wanted from it are usually very strong for me, but for whatever reason I missed the first shift...a really stupid move as its not one I've ever struggled with. The rest of the excerpt went ok, and they skipped the second excerpt and moved on to Prokofiev's romeo and juliet. I was sort of bummed because I can really nail the bottom of the 2nd page of the Strauss, but I soon realized the comittee really didn't follow the order we had been given.

Prokofiev seemed to be a bit of a disaster for me. This was the one excerpt I didn't prep much in the last week because the bandaid situation made the shifts so hard to do. I had a measure in the middle that was totally out of control and although I recovered, I felt that maybe the damage had been done. Lastly, I played the first 2 pages of Smetana's Bartered Bride, and felt they went pretty well. 

     I didn't progress, (no one did in my round), but after talking to one of the BSO members I"m trying to figure out (beyond the mistakes here and there) what I'm missing to progress in these auditions. He was sort of shocked that I didn't progress, and that sort of shocked me because I had not even thought about it, I guess in my head I didn't think I was going to progress...and I'm wondering if that might be the problem. I'm sort of kicking myself that I didn't go into it thinking I could...UGH. Every once and a while I become totally spooked with my playing and where I am (when I've come from virtually starting at 22) and I never think I"ll actually "get there."  This is the second audition where I've gotten a surprised reaction from someone that really knows what they are doing.  I think my next job is to go home and start practicing for KC with the thought that I really can win it. NY was a great experience for me because it has begun to change my mindset for the future...Here goes!